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Words to justify but also hurt

1
This is a popular post that I wrote in late 2018 that I still refer to because I feel its important.
Here is something that has annoyed me today, abortion….
More talk of it here in Northern Ireland because it is illegal.
But its not abortion itself that I want to discuss, it’s the comments and ideas that surround it that I can take issue with.

But that is not what I am discussing because everyone make up their own mind about abortion, and I am off the opinion that someone shouldn’t be judged for the decision they make in regards to this. We

theFMLYman.com
2
all have our own situations and things happening in our lives and who am I to dictate that to anyone else.

When I read news articles about it in the news and on social media, I always go into the comments to see what is being said, as I like a debate and an argument, as much as my wife tells me I shouldn’t get involved, I usually do!

I would be quite opinionated and bite my tongue in case people take things the wrong way, but today I had to have my say on one of these comment threads.

Basically the topic was about abortion and religion, and a

theFMLYman.com
3
lady commented quite a pro-life comment, and underneath it a lady simply put the comment “But its not a baby, it’s a fetus” and a man put another comment saying “When its born, its then a person whether it’s premature or not”

This absolutely infuriates me!

It’s almost a cop out for a guilty conscience of those who don’t want to refer to it as a baby for the sake of aborting it as if it makes it a little bit easier for those who comment on such things. A detachment if you like.

My reply was simply:
“Foetus? Tell that to my wife

theFMLYman.com
4
and I that have had 3 early miscarriages. They were our BABIES no matter how small they were. Come and tell me how those miscarriages weren’t significant simply because you deem them a foetus and shouldn’t be called a baby yet by you. Fuming here. If you don’t agree with what your religious beliefs say then leave that institution, too many people trying to make religion fit them and that’s not how it works.”

I even tagged the people in the comments several times to discuss their thoughts and opinions with me and I have been blanked, maybe I

theFMLYman.com
5
have been wrong in my approach and caught up in the moment.

But it annoys me more because Clare and I, and I’m sure like many others, have miscarried babies at early or late stages in pregnancies and this is an insult and an absolute slap in the face to people like us to have our babies referred to as a foetus and to be considered as not important until born.

I was furious with the people that commented like that. It belittles the whole thing. The baby, the parents, the suffering and hurt. But they don’t and probably choose not to see that and

theFMLYman.com
6
that’s what annoys me. It’s the de-sensitisation of the words, foetus and baby that get to me. It takes away from the pregnancy and the baby as if it has no value, and it is this I have the issue with.

Now, I’m sure they will come back and say that because I am a man then it doesn’t matter, well Let me tell you something, it does. Because whether they like it or not, I contributed to making that child, I was there. I am emotionally involved. This is something that can impact your whole life, both for the man and the woman!

I am sure there

theFMLYman.com
7
are many people that will agree or disagree, and I don’t like writing things like this because I am afraid that people will turn against me, boycott my blog or label me with something, but frankly I don’t care at this point, it’s how I feel when people post comments like this on social media.

I have found out lately that people are so quick to be offended by everything and be hurt by it, but sometimes in a situation like this, rarely think of people who maybe on the other side whether that is abortion or for example people going through

theFMLYman.com
8
miscarriage and using the word foetus in place of baby.

I guess the thought is, are the people that use the word foetus in pro abortion terms, which makes the baby seem irrelevant, are they the same people who would use that terminology if their family or friend had a miscarriage around the same time during a pregnancy or would they refer to it as a baby?

This is a grey area and I am in no way speaking about abortion, people who choose to have an abortion or not, it is merely trying to make people aware of how the wording used can be hurtful to

theFMLYman.com
9
people going through miscarriage, baby loss and grief.

Choice of words used by some to justify something, can be seen as hurtful and insensitive to others.
 

Be sure to check out my blog @ www.jamesyni.com or on twitter @jamesmulhern7 I would love to hear your opinions or criticism on anything I have written.

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- 10th Mar 19

This is a popular post that I wrote in late 2018 that I still refer to because I feel its important.

Here is something that has annoyed me today, abortion….

More talk of it here in Northern Ireland because it is illegal.

But its not abortion itself that I want to discuss, it’s the comments and ideas that surround it that I can take issue with.

But that is not what I am discussing because everyone make up their own mind about abortion, and I am off the opinion that someone shouldn’t be judged for the decision they make in regards to this. We all have our own situations and things happening in our lives and who am I to dictate that to anyone else.

When I read news articles about it in the news and on social media, I always go into the comments to see what is being said, as I like a debate and an argument, as much as my wife tells me I shouldn’t get involved, I usually do!

I would be quite opinionated and bite my tongue in case people take things the wrong way, but today I had to have my say on one of these comment threads.

Basically the topic was about abortion and religion, and a lady commented quite a pro-life comment, and underneath it a lady simply put the comment “But its not a baby, it’s a fetus” and a man put another comment saying “When its born, its then a person whether it’s premature or not”

This absolutely infuriates me!

It’s almost a cop out for a guilty conscience of those who don’t want to refer to it as a baby for the sake of aborting it as if it makes it a little bit easier for those who comment on such things. A detachment if you like.

My reply was simply:

“Foetus? Tell that to my wife and I that have had 3 early miscarriages. They were our BABIES no matter how small they were. Come and tell me how those miscarriages weren’t significant simply because you deem them a foetus and shouldn’t be called a baby yet by you. Fuming here. If you don’t agree with what your religious beliefs say then leave that institution, too many people trying to make religion fit them and that’s not how it works.”

I even tagged the people in the comments several times to discuss their thoughts and opinions with me and I have been blanked, maybe I have been wrong in my approach and caught up in the moment.

But it annoys me more because Clare and I, and I’m sure like many others, have miscarried babies at early or late stages in pregnancies and this is an insult and an absolute slap in the face to people like us to have our babies referred to as a foetus and to be considered as not important until born.

I was furious with the people that commented like that. It belittles the whole thing. The baby, the parents, the suffering and hurt. But they don’t and probably choose not to see that and that’s what annoys me. It’s the de-sensitisation of the words, foetus and baby that get to me. It takes away from the pregnancy and the baby as if it has no value, and it is this I have the issue with.

Now, I’m sure they will come back and say that because I am a man then it doesn’t matter, well Let me tell you something, it does. Because whether they like it or not, I contributed to making that child, I was there. I am emotionally involved. This is something that can impact your whole life, both for the man and the woman!

I am sure there are many people that will agree or disagree, and I don’t like writing things like this because I am afraid that people will turn against me, boycott my blog or label me with something, but frankly I don’t care at this point, it’s how I feel when people post comments like this on social media.

I have found out lately that people are so quick to be offended by everything and be hurt by it, but sometimes in a situation like this, rarely think of people who maybe on the other side whether that is abortion or for example people going through miscarriage and using the word foetus in place of baby.

I guess the thought is, are the people that use the word foetus in pro abortion terms, which makes the baby seem irrelevant, are they the same people who would use that terminology if their family or friend had a miscarriage around the same time during a pregnancy or would they refer to it as a baby?

This is a grey area and I am in no way speaking about abortion, people who choose to have an abortion or not, it is merely trying to make people aware of how the wording used can be hurtful to people going through miscarriage, baby loss and grief.

Choice of words used by some to justify something, can be seen as hurtful and insensitive to others.

 

Be sure to check out my blog @ www.jamesyni.com or on twitter @jamesmulhern7 I would love to hear your opinions or criticism on anything I have written.

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Father of 3, Doon to be 4 under 4 years old. 31 year old stay at home dad. Loving the journey with my kids!

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