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Why do you become useless at 14

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“Why is it when you become 14 you become useless”

This is a rare moment of insight from Zack unfortunately followed by 

“Dad have you got an anus like a penguin?”

I decided to go with the first question 

“I’m not sure ,what do you mean?”

“well they suddenly can’t do anything themselves and stay in bed a lot”

Fair point…..and one that I’ll repeat to him in a few years.

Zack’s alway been groundbreaking ,this week it was swimming,he spent 60% of the time dancing on the side of the pool in his trunks without

theFMLYman.com
2
music apart from the stuff going through his head,judging from his moves it must be some fairly revolutionary

Rory and Zack have been having an ongoing battle,they are putting stuff in each other’s shoes.Zack started it ,he put haribous in Rory’s who then responded with small marshmallows,then Zack put crisps in and Rory responded with Marshmallows

and crisps ,it’s getting out of hand now,Zack “found” a scorpion and used that,no harm ,got Rory to Hospital with 7 minute to spare but he’s still paralysed temporarily on the right hand side

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3
which for a 16 year old boy with good internet is extremely serious…anyhow he got his own back with the mantrap in the sweetie cupboard,no harm  done, Zack just grew a new arm

One of Zack’s favourite pastimes is to play tag in the car ,a fairly predictable game when he’s sitting beside me in the front,hide and seek was better but I found him 30 mins later when I noticed a bit of his jumper sticking out the glove compartment,makes the time pass on long car journeys.

I can no longer watch films with Rory,goes on his phone at same time and I

theFMLYman.com
4
become tetchy

“what’s the matter Dad’s ,can’t you multi task?”

I imagine watching a film and attacking him with a power hose at the same time to prove I can. 

Nearly Christmas,Zack didn’t write a note this year,he’s kidnapping an Elf and sending Mrs Clause the fingers through post until he gets what he wants.

He helped me put up the tree ,put baubles,tinsel etc ,I told him roadkill wasn’t very Christmassy so he took that down,Rory came in later and didn’t even notice our efforts and went to eat the contents of the kitchen

theFMLYman.com
5
before heading up to bed with a mumble.

Went to see “Elf” at the old hospital car park,fantastic event and for a good cause. Zack asked when the banned cut of “Cannibal Holocaust” would be showing but I told him not until he’s 9 ,I have limits.

Asked my younger guitar pupils if there was anything they wanted to learn before the school holidays.

“can I draw a pig?” one young lady enquired.

This is why I can’t take anything seriously anymore.

Heading towards the Christmas holidays 

“Miracle On Rae Street”

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- 24th Dec 18

“Why is it when you become 14 you become useless”

This is a rare moment of insight from Zack unfortunately followed by 

“Dad have you got an anus like a penguin?”

I decided to go with the first question 

“I’m not sure ,what do you mean?”

“well they suddenly can’t do anything themselves and stay in bed a lot”

Fair point…..and one that I’ll repeat to him in a few years.

Zack’s alway been groundbreaking ,this week it was swimming,he spent 60% of the time dancing on the side of the pool in his trunks without music apart from the stuff going through his head,judging from his moves it must be some fairly revolutionary

Rory and Zack have been having an ongoing battle,they are putting stuff in each other’s shoes.Zack started it ,he put haribous in Rory’s who then responded with small marshmallows,then Zack put crisps in and Rory responded with Marshmallows

and crisps ,it’s getting out of hand now,Zack “found” a scorpion and used that,no harm ,got Rory to Hospital with 7 minute to spare but he’s still paralysed temporarily on the right hand side which for a 16 year old boy with good internet is extremely serious…anyhow he got his own back with the mantrap in the sweetie cupboard,no harm  done, Zack just grew a new arm

One of Zack’s favourite pastimes is to play tag in the car ,a fairly predictable game when he’s sitting beside me in the front,hide and seek was better but I found him 30 mins later when I noticed a bit of his jumper sticking out the glove compartment,makes the time pass on long car journeys.

I can no longer watch films with Rory,goes on his phone at same time and I become tetchy

“what’s the matter Dad’s ,can’t you multi task?”

I imagine watching a film and attacking him with a power hose at the same time to prove I can. 

Nearly Christmas,Zack didn’t write a note this year,he’s kidnapping an Elf and sending Mrs Clause the fingers through post until he gets what he wants.

He helped me put up the tree ,put baubles,tinsel etc ,I told him roadkill wasn’t very Christmassy so he took that down,Rory came in later and didn’t even notice our efforts and went to eat the contents of the kitchen before heading up to bed with a mumble.

Went to see “Elf” at the old hospital car park,fantastic event and for a good cause. Zack asked when the banned cut of “Cannibal Holocaust” would be showing but I told him not until he’s 9 ,I have limits.

Asked my younger guitar pupils if there was anything they wanted to learn before the school holidays.

“can I draw a pig?” one young lady enquired.

This is why I can’t take anything seriously anymore.

Heading towards the Christmas holidays 

“Miracle On Rae Street”

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