This is where it all began.
I took this picture on the day my beautiful girlfriend (now fiancée) brought this little frightening ball of screams and poop into the world.
Georgie (fiancée) had what seemed to be the most awesome pregnancy… to a point. As some of you will know, the combination of the HCG/progesterone keeps your baby where it should be and growing, and the reason I know this is because my fiancé was on the verge of losing our wonderful little human part-way through pregnancy. We’d lost our first not too long before.
Not to start on a bad note, but my daughter (now 2 and a half) almost never was. We were told she wouldn’t arrive with us, so naturally we sought out reasons before the inevitable.
Georgie managed to figure out what was going on, and after a reluctant test from the doctor, they found her progesterone was extremely low. She had to fight in tears for that test but she got it. We were told it was only a matter of time.
The reason I’m sharing this is because every time I look at my little girl (aside from the fact she looks a lot like her mum), I’m reminded of what a miracle she is, and she also reminds me how much I’m enjoying fatherhood which to me not only includes my experiences with our daughter, but also her mother.
I can’t even begin to put into words what this person has done for me as a partner and how feeble I felt seeing her trying to push our daughter out and vitally, for also saving her life after they prescribed progesterone supplements (which saw the levels skyrocket in a week or so btw).
I don’t feel any shame or sadness about not being the one to grow her or bring her into this world. As a dad I enjoy so many countless experiences of my own and all these memories make me appreciate my little family even more. Yeah I’m gushing over this, but I’m very grateful for them both.
We found out on a scan just before Christmas 2014 that she was doing great, and Christmas was made. Willow Marsali (Gaelic for Pearl – her great-grandmother’s name) Dixon arrived with us in the early afternoon of 19th June 2015.
I’ll probably share some of my past experiences at some point as they’re relevant to how perfect my experience as a father has been, but when she arrived – I’d never had such an explosion of emotion. I was in bits. I’d waited so long and finally the moment arrived. I was petrified and overwhelmed by the responsibility knowing that no matter what, I’d be bound to this little human until I left this world. And I fucking loved it. More than I’d loved anything in my entire life. I love my partner, I love my family and friends but nothing comes close to seeing a screaming baby in your arms for the first time and knowing your life has already changed.
And so yep, I literally cried for about 20 minutes non-stop like a blithering idiot in-between holding her and helping her onto Georgie’s chest. Georgie was on another planet (because despite the fight of her life, Willow just wasn’t budging as they’d tried to get Georgie to push too early). Anyway, she came out the sunroof after Georgie had received a cocktail of drugs, and despite her insides being chopped to pieces, she appeared to be having an awesome time as far as I could see. I won’t go into detail, but Georgie’s body was ruined by the birthing process. She’d lost a dangerous amount of blood (which wasn’t communicated at the time).
This is all a bit pro-my lady and anti-doctors isn’t it? It’s important to note, because much like my earlier comments, part of fatherhood has been Georgie’s experience as a mother, which is important to me.
So after that, we’ve ended up with something we never could’ve had any ideas about before. She’s now forming very small sentences (particularly those asking for treats and fruit as it goes – eyes on the prize) and is defying all preconceptions of the experience.
She’s a little loopy in the best ways. And there are those times where you’d like to put on ear-defenders to save your sanity, but there’s not one thing I’d change about her. She’s an absolute gem and I look forward to posting all the ridiculous and hilarious experiences I have with her.
For now, I need bed. I’m knackered and work long hours so need a kip.