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Third rule of Dad Club: If you yell “stop!”, your child goes limp and continues to shout. When the yelling stops the fight is over – They will not listen to you, the sooner you accept this the better.


Kid’s do they ever listen? Or are Dad’s just some kind of background noise which is filtered out when convenient?

The other was a prime example, I’m out with Albert in town looking around the shops and he’s generally being pretty well behaved. I don’t mind him running around a bit, playing hide and seek as A) its seriously bloody cute and B) he’s 20 months old what the hell else should he be doing.

Most of the time when I tell him to stop, he will stop and run back to me or at least stand still. However today he decided he’d found a much more fun game, ignore daddy and do the exact opposite to what he says….I’m hoping this won’t set a precedent!

“Albert come here please!”….off he sprints to the other end of the shop chuckling all the way.

“Albert don’t poke the vase or you’ll break it”….POKE.

“Alby can you get up please” as he decides to sit in the middle of an aisle.

Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t being naughty and he (and secretly I) found it pretty hilarious, running around Debenhams hiding in amongst the suits.

When it was time to get back in the pushchair, that’s when the real fun began. As he tries to wriggle out of the straps “Alby STOP” tears…oh the tears. He goes limp arms straight up in the air, trying to slither down to the floor where he lies for a good 20seconds.

It’s easy to feel helpless and a bad parent in that kind of situation, as you feel judgemental eyes on you. Just remember it happens to everyone, its what kids do… they aren’t hurting anyone and when the tears stop happiness and fun return.

Sometimes they will do what you tell them, mostly they wont! As long as you’re consistent and the role of disciplinarian isn’t your only contribution to parenting, like some bad 1920’s Mr Brown. Hopefully they will take heed to your fatherly advice at least some of the time. Who are we kidding, I hope you enjoy the sound of your own voice, as no one else is listening…

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A 31yr old Dad to Albert, marrying his awesome mummy in June this year, at the beautiful Gant’s Mill in Bruton. I’m a fulltime working Dad, a Project Manager in the construction industry with a Degree in Engineering. Who hasn’t done any creative writing, other than some poetic licence in a few work emails, since my GCSE’s (I got an B in English Booyah!). My Partner Rae runs her own catering business which means she often works Weekends and I’m left to apply my own style of parenting on the small whirlwind of energy that is the little man. Our frequent DADventures are regularly documented on Instagram and going forward I’ll try to include the fun and chaos of those experiences in my Blog. Being a Dad to Alby has been a hell of a ride, from dealing with dirty nappies and the total exhaustion of the first few months but the most incredible cuddles. Now its more chasing him around various locations with the occasional bout of head wrestling (his favourite form of battle) and many hangry toddler tantrums to boot. I hope to bring some fun and laughter in sharing my experiences and can maybe help others in their own journeys.

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