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I tried valiantly to get home on Thursday only to get stuck in the snow drifts about 400 yards from the house. As I trudged up the road I looked at the snow and thought I must’ve been mad to try. Mum and Dad were fine and I calculated they had enough biscuits to last us until Zack left secondary school.

Zack got dropped of later by his Mum using superior transport and a more sensible route, and walked through the blizzard untouched by the snow, almost as if it was scared of him. I wonder if the people of Siberia clear the shops of bread when they hear Zack’s coming to visit?

Mum and dad had the heating on full blast as well as the fire and every electric heater – it was still cold. Zack huddled around his XBox whilst Rory, blissfully unaware of the conditions (or life in general), kept asking if he could get a lift into town! My car was surrounded by snow as tall as Zack and we were in the middle of a big red triangle.

Zack and I did venture out eventually and we saw the odd smug 4×4 owner creeping around, battling the snow (we were secretly on the snow’s side).

We managed to sledge in tyre tracks from the odd tractor but Zack was mostly getting as high (in height terms not chemical) as he could then falling in the snow. I knew it wouldn’t last though, as soon as he got snow in his boot it would be game over.

“Now can I get lift into town?”… I try and explain to Rory that it’s like the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back at Highgate. I sensed his sulk 8 miles away.
I went to dig the car out on Sunday and looked at it , kicked the tyre a few times, exhaled slightly and still it wouldn’t budge. My friend, armed with a spade and common sense, help me get it out while Zack helpfully cheered me on shouting “daddy’s a rubbish driver and his butt’s on fire” (very inspiring).

Seriously there must be a team of doctors trying to make sense of Zack’s frame of mind, eg. his most recent mantra “upside triangle around my winky” with accompanying dance.

I got the car out, but it now has a bit of plastic scraping the road as I drive. It helps if I turn the radio up and the problem magically disappears (perhaps surgeons should use a similar technique).

Anyway the rain came and washed away the snow and I’m in awe of nature’s continued ability to make all of our perceived advances look pathetic.

I took the boys for a curry to celebrate the thaw. It went something like this for 60 mins:

“Rory’s got a massive anus”
“Say that again and I’ll punch you”
“Ok sorry I won’t, I promise”
“Rory’s got a massive anus”

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