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How To Open A Present

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Ok I’m sitting Zack down and having a serious conversation,todays topic is how to respond to a Christmas present 

“I don’t like this” is a bad response,as is “I’m not a girl” “I’ve got 4 unused in the cupboard” “is that it” “that’s sh**” “what the **** is that” are all generally frowned upon no matter how cute your Christmas pyjamas may be

“you can **** right off,with that pile of p** and stick it back up your arse” is definitely not allowed but in all fairness he learnt that from an elderly

theFMLYman.com
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relative 

Also “wow that’s really fantastic” can be problematic as delivered badly can come across as being really sarcastic 

Speed is a big thing,you cannot unwrap something then cast a cursory glance over the present before tossing it aside and going for the next one,needs to be at least 4 mins before unwrapping something else,a good idea is to select someone else a present in between which helps to show it’s not all about you (it absolutely is) and hopefully watch someone else struggle with the reaction.

Rich relative or friend

theFMLYman.com
3
syndrome is when you’ve spent a lot of time,thought and savings on what you think is a great present then someone with far more money picks up something ridiculously expensive and blows it out of the water,not a lot you can do in this situation,I prefer to sulk and mutter something like “in my day we were thankful for a wooden stick and tangerine”. Nowadays I find it far more beneficial to suck up to the rich relative in order to get more of the spoils,sometimes wear slightly torn clothes when I meet them.

Anyhow I think between us we’ve come

theFMLYman.com
4
up with the perfect response,Zack gets a present,opens it in 2 mins ,looks at it for 2mins puts his right hand on the shoulder and looks the giver in the eye and says “thank you” followed by a quick hug which will give him an average speed of 12pph (presents per hour) and no feelings get hurt

Happy Christmas and safe present opening

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- 14th Jan 19

 

Ok I’m sitting Zack down and having a serious conversation,todays topic is how to respond to a Christmas present 

“I don’t like this” is a bad response,as is “I’m not a girl” “I’ve got 4 unused in the cupboard” “is that it” “that’s sh**” “what the **** is that” are all generally frowned upon no matter how cute your Christmas pyjamas may be

“you can **** right off,with that pile of p** and stick it back up your arse” is definitely not allowed but in all fairness he learnt that from an elderly relative 

Also “wow that’s really fantastic” can be problematic as delivered badly can come across as being really sarcastic 

Speed is a big thing,you cannot unwrap something then cast a cursory glance over the present before tossing it aside and going for the next one,needs to be at least 4 mins before unwrapping something else,a good idea is to select someone else a present in between which helps to show it’s not all about you (it absolutely is) and hopefully watch someone else struggle with the reaction.

Rich relative or friend syndrome is when you’ve spent a lot of time,thought and savings on what you think is a great present then someone with far more money picks up something ridiculously expensive and blows it out of the water,not a lot you can do in this situation,I prefer to sulk and mutter something like “in my day we were thankful for a wooden stick and tangerine”. Nowadays I find it far more beneficial to suck up to the rich relative in order to get more of the spoils,sometimes wear slightly torn clothes when I meet them.

Anyhow I think between us we’ve come up with the perfect response,Zack gets a present,opens it in 2 mins ,looks at it for 2mins puts his right hand on the shoulder and looks the giver in the eye and says “thank you” followed by a quick hug which will give him an average speed of 12pph (presents per hour) and no feelings get hurt

Happy Christmas and safe present opening

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