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I’m a relatively old dad. At 46, with a 22-month-old I’ve found myself in a weird situation. Most dads are a single generation away from their kids but technically I could have grand kids my son’s age. How will I relate to him and stay ‘current’ in his life when he’s 16? I’ll be 60!

It’s hard enough relating to teenagers now, as they chase Pokemon across the M6 and get sleeve tattoos they haven’t even run through a spellchecker. I know a teenager, just the one, and he seems to have taken a vow to remain silent, poker-faced and motionless apart from his frantic thumbs, which run his texting and ‘selfie’ regime with incessant determination. He exists vicariously through a hundred photos every day that all show him unsmiling, from above, usually holding up a middle finger as if he doesn’t want his picture taken at all- and yet he’s the one taking it! He claims to be having the time of his young life but, as far as I can tell, he hates literally everything in the world, apart from his phone of course, which he uses for every single function of life apart from talking to people.

I can’t share experiences with that teenage misery, and I’m ‘only’ 46! My own son, my walking, babbling embodiment of everything I dream of for the future of mankind, isn’t even two yet. It’s enough to make me write myself off as ‘past it’ and start panic-buying cardigans and Werther’s Originals.

In the face of this impending extinction, and in spite of the real probability of me living purely as a brain and a wallet in a jar for most of his adult life, I have decided to be cool (my idea of cool, not ‘actual cool’ of course, that ship sailed two decades ago for me) about it all and resign myself to ‘the great unknown’ that is the future.

Let’s face it, the way technology is going we don’t know what he’s going to be into in 14 years’ time. I imagine it will be almost entirely ‘virtual’ whatever it is. All my fears about ‘don’t let him sit too close to the TV, he’ll get square eyes!’ have been replaced by ‘He’ll be living through a virtual headset- square eyes will be an advantage!’ and if we are communicating via a virtual existence in a virtual landscape then that means we’ll be virtually the same age!

I do, however, need to keep it real and not get carried away with my faith in our rapidly changing world, maybe avoid the giddy prospect that we might all be Mars-dwelling disease-free immortals by then, eating coloured dust instead of food and talking telepathically, because I’m old enough to remember watching ‘Space 1999’ only to get to that magical year and find we hadn’t inhabited space at all and were, in fact, still having trouble getting jeans to fit properly.

So, I’m relaxed about whatever the future holds. My reasoning is that things are moving so fast that whatever it is we’ll all be new to it, even teenagers, and so we’ll just have to learn to grab hold of whatever we can and do our best. At the end of the day, I’m his dad and that should be all he, or I, need to know.

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I'm 46, but I can't see it lasting to be honest. I'm a writer: novel, screenplays, plays, musicals, TV commercials... comedy mainly. I work as a copywriter so most of my words end up on packaging, instruction manuals and websites but, hey... it's all publication- right? I have a wife, Caroline who is a theatre actress and a 22 month-old son, Cooper who isn't.

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