close
SM-Stamp-Join-1
  • The FMLY MAN is a growing global community and we'd love you to join in. Our Club is FREE and it takes 1 minute to join! Once you join you'll be able to share posts and events immediately... why not get involved!

  • Your basic information

  • Your account information

View as: GRID LIST

Dadvice, if you will

1
So, after a very long writing hiatus I thought I’d try my hand at one of those punchy lists of advice style posts. Lots of parents have lots of experience, but the time you really need it, is the first time you see your child. That’s a bit rubbish isn’t it.
Parents have bundles of tricks and tips up their sleeve. But only really with one or two or more ’test subjects’ that they work on, so I guess my disclaimer is they’re all different aren’t they? Thing might work but things might not! And that’s a crazy thing about kids, tricks might not even
theFMLYman.com
2
work between siblings so why do we then always offer our advice to others. Try it though, it might work! In no particular order…

– no matter how you’ve been with other people’s children, it’s now different. Easier. Harder. More rewarding. I guess the first piece of advice is go with your instinct.

– when the Current Mrs W was expecting our first, I asked a good friend of mine (father of 3 girls) for any advice. His advice was simple, and true.
”it’ll happen at night…”

– it’s always an option to put the baby down somewhere safe, take

theFMLYman.com
3
a moment and breathe. Calm is calm.

-in the last month, be ready to go to the hospital. Bags packed, in the car if needed, baby seat in the car, snacks ready.

-do what mum needs/wants.

-take the two weeks paternity leave. So you might lose out on some cash for a week. You’ve got a tiny baby. They’re pretty cool to hang out with. Enjoy.

-sling, wrap, carrier. Do it. Carrying a little one is awesome. It promotes a bond, has a calming influence, helps you hold a baby for much longer than just with your arms. It’s brilliant.
Little baby wraps

theFMLYman.com
4
can be slightly different from older baby wraps, and you can get more structured carriers for later on. We still use a carrier with our 4 and 2 year olds.
We used a couple of stretchy wraps with the little bubs, and have since used cotton wraps, ring slings, tulas, connectas, a baby backpack and probably some others too!
They are not all the same. The Current Mrs W liked one we borrowed from a sling library that I couldn’t get on with and vice versa.

I can’t vouch for carriers enough. Our youngest went through a few months of being wide awake some

theFMLYman.com
5
point between 2 and 5 in the morning most days- I would take home downstairs, get him in the ring sling and he would be calm enough for me to stand, rock and watch nonsense on TV until he slept again. My arms would not have coped with 2 hours plus of rocking every day!

-do the shared parental leave. You’ll love it.

– have a muslin/hanky to hand. You’ll need it.

-get more muslins/ hankies. You’ll need them!

– if it helps, the wife and I divvied up snot, sick, blood and poop detail!

– do you think you know a lot of songs off by heart?

theFMLYman.com
6
When you are trying to think of any song to soothe a little bub, they’ll all desert you, I promise! I spent a good few weeks singing two Monty Python songs as it was all I could dredge up! Or… Just hum along if you know the tune!

-get a cheap digital watch with a decent light and wear it all the time. It’s useful to have something to check the time on in a dark baby room and it’s useful to have something you won’t mind getting puke on!

-you’ll soon get conformable talking about puke. And poop. And snot.
Then you get comfortable dealing with

theFMLYman.com
7
removing it from your child.
Then from someone else’s child. (please, no drive-by desnottings!)

– It’s time to talk buggies. It’s easy to see the latest fancy multi system with WiFi holder and coffee cup compatability and demand the best and most expensive.
Let me suggest that it may be more beneficial in the long run to get hold of a second hand buggy for next to nothing to find out what you like and don’t like about using a buggy every day. We didn’t buy one new straight away partly because we had one from family, partly because of the

theFMLYman.com
8
above.
Once we had used a buggy for a while, we had a better idea of what we liked.
I would suggest these are good points to think about, however you are getting a buggy:

– is it easy to fold?
– does it fit in your car boot?
– is there plenty of space in the tray /pouch under the buggy and is it easy to access?
– are the brakes easy to get on/off?

– practice getting the car seat in and out!

-baby wipes are not universal. Our eldest’s skin didn’t get on with most wipes, as it turned out, the best for us were bog standard Tesco own brand

theFMLYman.com
9
version

– if something isn’t working try something else. Go outside in the cold for a minute. Take the nipper for a walk. Sing a song. Get a torch out. Run a bath. Find a new toy. Change can be good.

– kids change all the time. It’s brilliant. And infuriating!

-use an old cupcake tray for a kids paint tray. You have got lots of holes for different colours and they are easy to wash for next time.

– finally, the best piece of advice I’ve been given was ”Don’t Listen To Any Advice”.

I’d written a draft of this post a while ago but

theFMLYman.com
10
recently this kind of post has become quite relevant personally.
theFMLYman.com
Garry

By

This blog was originally posted on thefmlyman.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

Why not write for THE FMLY MAN, too? You can sign up for free and post immediately.


We regularly share posts on @TheFMLYMan Instagram and Facebook :)

- 5th Jan 19

So, after a very long writing hiatus I thought I’d try my hand at one of those punchy lists of advice style posts. Lots of parents have lots of experience, but the time you really need it, is the first time you see your child. That’s a bit rubbish isn’t it.
Parents have bundles of tricks and tips up their sleeve. But only really with one or two or more ‘test subjects’ that they work on, so I guess my disclaimer is they’re all different aren’t they? Thing might work but things might not! And that’s a crazy thing about kids, tricks might not even work between siblings so why do we then always offer our advice to others. Try it though, it might work! In no particular order…

– no matter how you’ve been with other people’s children, it’s now different. Easier. Harder. More rewarding. I guess the first piece of advice is go with your instinct.

– when the Current Mrs W was expecting our first, I asked a good friend of mine (father of 3 girls) for any advice. His advice was simple, and true.
“it’ll happen at night…”

– it’s always an option to put the baby down somewhere safe, take a moment and breathe. Calm is calm.

-in the last month, be ready to go to the hospital. Bags packed, in the car if needed, baby seat in the car, snacks ready.

-do what mum needs/wants.

-take the two weeks paternity leave. So you might lose out on some cash for a week. You’ve got a tiny baby. They’re pretty cool to hang out with. Enjoy.

-sling, wrap, carrier. Do it. Carrying a little one is awesome. It promotes a bond, has a calming influence, helps you hold a baby for much longer than just with your arms. It’s brilliant.
Little baby wraps can be slightly different from older baby wraps, and you can get more structured carriers for later on. We still use a carrier with our 4 and 2 year olds.
We used a couple of stretchy wraps with the little bubs, and have since used cotton wraps, ring slings, tulas, connectas, a baby backpack and probably some others too!
They are not all the same. The Current Mrs W liked one we borrowed from a sling library that I couldn’t get on with and vice versa.

I can’t vouch for carriers enough. Our youngest went through a few months of being wide awake some point between 2 and 5 in the morning most days- I would take home downstairs, get him in the ring sling and he would be calm enough for me to stand, rock and watch nonsense on TV until he slept again. My arms would not have coped with 2 hours plus of rocking every day!

-do the shared parental leave. You’ll love it.

– have a muslin/hanky to hand. You’ll need it.

-get more muslins/ hankies. You’ll need them!

– if it helps, the wife and I divvied up snot, sick, blood and poop detail!

– do you think you know a lot of songs off by heart? When you are trying to think of any song to soothe a little bub, they’ll all desert you, I promise! I spent a good few weeks singing two Monty Python songs as it was all I could dredge up! Or… Just hum along if you know the tune!

-get a cheap digital watch with a decent light and wear it all the time. It’s useful to have something to check the time on in a dark baby room and it’s useful to have something you won’t mind getting puke on!

-you’ll soon get conformable talking about puke. And poop. And snot.
Then you get comfortable dealing with removing it from your child.
Then from someone else’s child. (please, no drive-by desnottings!)

– It’s time to talk buggies. It’s easy to see the latest fancy multi system with WiFi holder and coffee cup compatability and demand the best and most expensive.
Let me suggest that it may be more beneficial in the long run to get hold of a second hand buggy for next to nothing to find out what you like and don’t like about using a buggy every day. We didn’t buy one new straight away partly because we had one from family, partly because of the above.
Once we had used a buggy for a while, we had a better idea of what we liked.
I would suggest these are good points to think about, however you are getting a buggy:

– is it easy to fold?
– does it fit in your car boot?
– is there plenty of space in the tray /pouch under the buggy and is it easy to access?
– are the brakes easy to get on/off?

– practice getting the car seat in and out!

-baby wipes are not universal. Our eldest’s skin didn’t get on with most wipes, as it turned out, the best for us were bog standard Tesco own brand version

– if something isn’t working try something else. Go outside in the cold for a minute. Take the nipper for a walk. Sing a song. Get a torch out. Run a bath. Find a new toy. Change can be good.

– kids change all the time. It’s brilliant. And infuriating!

-use an old cupcake tray for a kids paint tray. You have got lots of holes for different colours and they are easy to wash for next time.

– finally, the best piece of advice I’ve been given was “Don’t Listen To Any Advice”.

I’d written a draft of this post a while ago but recently this kind of post has become quite relevant personally.

Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!


Why not join the SM CLUB, too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!

Garry

Father of two, documenting my transition to stay at home parent in October 2017.

Post Tags


Keep up to date with Father Inc — Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media