I am a loud human.
I can’t sneak up on anyone, I’m rubbish at hide ‘n’ seek (unless playing with five-year-olds, obviously). In a zombie horror scene I’d be the one who sneezes as we cower nervously in the shadows, while hoards of un-dead shuffle past.
If I had a pound for every time I’ve woken a baby (mine obviously) stumbling out of a bedroom or crashing around in the next room, I would be a rich man (and also slightly less broken, as I wouldn’t have had to sway the little lumps back to sleep!)
What this also means is that I never shut up. My wife is constantly complaining (in the gentle caring way that only loved ones can) about my constant humming, singing and nonsense.
This near constant babble means that many of the songs we sing in our house are not quite the standard children’s nursery rhyme.
So here’s one of my favourites, to pester YOU instead of my long suffering family…