Dads at Christmas come into their element, don’t they? It’s a time of year for us to excel with our #daddingit talents and really show off our manly skills.
It’s a time of year I look forward to, a time of year to exhibit traditions that repeat themselves once a year and I’m sure I’m not alone. Here are five of my #daddingit skills that come to the forefront during the wintery festivities:
- I never knew I had Arnold Schwarzenegger muscles until I carried a Christmas tree AT LEAST twenty feet from the forest’s pop-up shop to the car, and then ANOTHER twenty feet from the car to the house. God I felt bloody manly with that £80 dead tree flung over my shoulder.
- I supply an endless stock of chocolates. Quality Street, Heroes, Roses, Celebrations and anything else that can be stuffed into our mouths at this time of year without too much guilt. If we’re going to get fat, we might as well do it now when that extra layer of chubbiness will keep us warm when facing the bitter elements. My wife doesn’t appreciate such unhealthy snacks constantly filling our cupboards, but I’m only thinking of her and the kids whilst it’s so cold.
- I pick the best Christmas TV. The kids want Trolls, Sing or Lion King on repeat, but no, this festive father won’t tolerate such non-festive nonsense. The kids are pretty much forced to watch Elf, Miracle on 34th Street, Arthur Christmas or Home Alone all day everyday, and then in the evening my wife is only allowed to watch Gold – the best place for Christmas classics such as Only Fools.
- It’s ok to drink from 10am. OK, 11am, I’m not an alcoholic. But it’s not just the usual fancy ales that make me look down-with-the-hipsters on Instagram, I’m talking gross drinks that just wouldn’t ever get touched if it wasn’t December, like Baileys. Those classic seasonal shows on Gold seem even funnier when accompanied by an Irish Cream. Ooh, manly.
- The National Grid cripples to a halt on the first weekend of December every year as ladders laden with cobwebs are yanked from sheds to be daintily balanced on, as Christmas lights are strung around houses up and down the land. I’m certain some houses can be seen from space, and not wanting the kids to feel like their house is the boring one on the street, I can be found, come rain or shine (definitely rain) doing my best to make our bay window resemble Blackpool seafront. Admittedly it’s not quite as striking or fossil fuel burning as some houses, but it’s definitely an essential dad (and mum) skill at this time of year.
So there you have it. But do you know what, for all the chocolates, 80s TV classics, and ice cool Baileys, my most treasured #daddingit skill at this time of year, is just simply being with my family.
Merry Christmas x